Not to us.

"Not to us, but to Your name be the glory."

We sang this song in youth last night. We know the words and sing along, but there are so many times that we want things to work out for our good and our good alone. I find myself thinking this way a lot. Not literally "I want things to work out for my good only" but I analyze the result that I want, and it is all about me. Everything we do should be centered around bringing God glory. That is why we are still here. Everything. School. Friendships. Missions. Life. It's not to become educated to get a well-paying job, or to not be lonely, or to even reach the lost, or to just survive. Those things are important, yes, but there should be a greater force driving us to do all of these things. The desire to reflect God's glory. Everything we do should be evidence of our desire to glorify God. Everything. 

"Send Your holy fire on this offering
Let our worship burn for the world to see
It's not for us, It's all for You

Not to us, but to Your name be the glory.

Not to us, but to Your name be the glory."

I'm old.

I always get the motivation to write when I'm not supposed to be on blogger, but rather actually doing something productive, like writing a paper for example. Funny how that happens. So, for now I'm just going to post a few quick thoughts before I go back to being productive...or maybe being unproductive in a different way.

• I'm old. Tonight I am going to church as a youth leader, not a youth. This is both completely terrifying and exciting all at the same time. Please pray for me.
• I love it here at Union. I'm making some awesome friends and actually getting settled in and am looking forward to getting involved in what seems like some awesome organizations focused on reaching the Jackson community.
• The idea of a Christian education is completely new to me and I'm loving it. It kinda shocks me when a professor prays before class or refers to scripture in a lecture but it is so awesome.
• I have been studying Philippians recently and it is super awesome. It is also really convicting. If only we all had the boldness of Paul...
• I'm trying to find a job and it is super frustrating. I hate not knowing anything and only one of the places I've applied has contacted me past the "we received your application/thank you for applying" email. I just want to know.
• I have an ever-growing wish list for music and books and not enough money to buy them. And I live within walking distance of a Lifeway. This could potentially be bad...
  

I might come back and elaborate on a few of these...or I might not. It just depends on my productivity and my motivation to write. 

it's been so long...

So, I officially fail at blogging. But, honestly, I almost expected that. I had these big plans to get on every weekend and talk about how God is moving in my life and what I was learning but even now, I'm not so sure how to even put it into words that are understandable for anyone other than me. I guess all i can really say is that I'm not the same person I was when I first arrived at Snowbird. Praise God for that.

Has it really already been two weeks?

So, it turns out that I didn't leave my laptop charger in the cabin, but at home. Smart, I know. That is why the follow up last week's post never happened.

So much has gone on in the last two weeks that I don't know where to start. I have loved serving with the other girls and really just getting to know them better as we hang out and work together. For those of you wondering exactly what I've been doing, I'll try to give you a picture of what most days are like. Every morning we work breakfast (keep the yogurt/fruit bar stocked, clean, etc.) then go to service. After service, some of us can go to a breakout (but not all because we have to have people to set up for lunch) and those who don't go to breakouts usually have about an hour or so to spend with the Lord in prayer and study before lunch. After lunch, we clean up around camp and usually have some projects to do around camp.

As a servant team, we're going through the book of Ruth together. A lot of times, I feel really be

hind in what I know about the Bible and people of the Bible, so it has been really awesome to be able to go through this.

This weekend has been interesting to say the least. Yesterday after lunch, Logan took us thrift store shopping.

Then, on the way back to camp, we hit this crazy storm. Like literally hit. It came out of nowhere. It went from sunshine to not being able to see because it was raining so hard. We pulled over and like five minutes later the sun was shining again. Gotta love mountain weather.

I will not fear the war.

I will not fear the storm.

My help is on the way.

My help is on the way.

Oh, my God, He will not delay.

My refuge and strength, always.

I will not fear; His promise is true.

My God will come through, always, always.

Week 1

My laptop battery is low and I'm the smart one who left my charger in the cabin up the hill, so I don't know how long this will be. I am currently sitting in the Snack Shack on my laptop. This is kinda crazy to me that I'm actually still here after my church left, but also it's just natural. It's hard to explain.

I can't believe week 1 is actually over. It flew by. It is definitely going to be different not seeing Faith kids every day but I'm looking forward to the week ahead. I can't describe how awesome this week has been. It's been a lot of work but it has been fun getting to know the servant team girls that are here and some of the staff and I am learning so much through the sessions and just my personal time with the Lord. I'll try to post more of what I'm learning later when I have my journals and my laptop isn't threatening to die.

I'm really tired so I'm not sure if this is going to make any sense at all. Alright, my laptop is flashing 10% so, I'll try to post more later.

swo excited!

Tomorrow, I leave for Snowbird. I'm going to try to keep this semi-updated throughout the summer, but I have a feeling I won't be very successful at that.

For those who don't know what I'm doing, I will be working on Servant Team this summer with 9 other girls, basically cleaning and serving meals and anything else that needs to be done. I am so excited to be spending the summer at camp and I know God is going to grow me a lot through this experience.

For those wanting my camp address (and anyone else who will send me mail) it is:

Kristen Wilson

75 Mae Johnson Way

Andrews, NC 28901

and by the way, I really LOVE mail! :)

Good Morning!!

So, I should probably be writing something about graduation tonight and about how I feel about leaving or how excited/sad I am...but I just don't have the words to write. I'm really not excited or sad, it's just another day. I am, however, excited to see Ms. Kimery's reaction to her "surprise". But even more so, I'm still excited because I saw Bethany Bohnenblust today!! My parents are probably tired of hearing about it, but just seeing her for the short time this morning really made my day. She's awesome. She's the one who actually inspired me to start this blog to share things I'm learning. Did I mention she's awesome? She is!

She has been such a

n inspiration to not only me, but to people, FFA members and nonmembers alike, across the country. I remember making my dad stay up and watch her retiring address with me. He said he would "if he could stay awake", which I took to mean, "You can watch it here, but I'm going to sleep." He stayed up through the entire session.

If you haven't seen this yet, it definitely deserves a watch.

As soon as Bethany stepped off the stage, I did two things. I texted her and I turned to my dad to see his reaction. All he said was "Wow. You can tell that she is a Christian."

If I can be half the inspiration that she is, or shine my light half as bright as hers, I will have accomplished something incredible.

Thank you, Bethany.

Wherever You Fly, This Isn't Goodbye. My Love Will Follow You, Stay With You, You're Never Alone...

These past two days have seemed like a dream. One of those dreams where you wake up and can't believe what just happened. Except it really did happen and it wasn't a dream. Monday morning Mama and I left for Nashville to meet Jesy Cordle for lunch on her way to Utah. It was really awesome to get to see her, but it made me realize some things.

1. Neither my mom nor I am good with directions. We got lost multiple times, including turning around in the same place three different times and taking an extra probably 30 minutes because we took the long way back. Thank you GPS for giving us the longest routes possible.
   
   
2. In less than two weeks I leave for camp. While, there are not words to express how excited I am, it is still sad leaving my friends and family for that long. (Even though I'm reluctant to admit it.)
   
   
3. Watching Jesy leave, I realized how much I really hate goodbyes. And I have a lot of those coming up really soon, and though I've been looking forward to graduation for four years now, I'm dreading the goodbyes that come with it. The worst part for me is not knowing when I'll see them again, and I am terrified of losing the people I love. They say they'll always be there, but I've learned the hard way that that isn't always true. I just have to trust that God will guide me through this time of change. He knows who I need in my life and who I really don't. I think Sarah Strickland said it best.
   
   
4. Also, Jesy Cordle is violent...

Never alone,
Never alone.
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown. Wherever you fly, This isn't goodbye.
My love will follow you, stay with you,
You're never alone.

-Never Alone, Lady Antebellum

Don't Say Goodbye...

Senior Concert. A night of some pretty awesome music with some really awesome people. A night of laughs and pictures with friends and tears and disappointment from others. My last performance. That's a pretty bittersweet thought. Through all of my excitement for this summer, I haven't put much thought into the changes going on around me. And now that my senior year is at it's end, I am terrified. Now, I'm no less excited for camp, I'm just scared of all the changes going on. Most of all, I'm scared of losing my friends. I know I shouldn't be, because they will still be there, well the ones that matter, but there is still that small fear of the unknown growing up inside me and making me doubt what I know to be true. Pause, I need some time to think.

Okay. Resume. I KNOW that my friends that truly care for me will still be my friends after all of this is done. And I KNOW that God is going to get me through these changes and I can rejoice that He is in control of my life. He loves me, no matter how little I deserve it, and He makes everything work together for my good. And He is leading me through these changes and grow me in the process.

If You Can't Do It For You, Would You Do It For Me?

A question has been running through my mind lately and I feel it is best to share without the details of what has sparked it.

How do you help someone who doesn't believe they need help?

They go through life acting like nothing is wrong and they don't need to change, but their actions are ruining their lives and leaving a trail of destruction behind them.

I want to reach out to them. I want to show them that Christ can change their lives. I want to help them. But how can I if no one, especially them, recognizes that they need help? What would they say if I did reach out to them? How would I even approach them? Something HAS to be done. I just don't know where to start.

On a lighter note, I broke my toe in a skit Sunday. It was pretty intense. It is now a nice shade of purple. Also, I get to see Jesy Cordle in less than a week. :)

And when the oceans rage, I don't have to be afraid.

Okay, so maybe there aren't any raging oceans around here, but, in my opinion, severe thunder storms and tornado warnings aren't much better. And we have had plenty of those to go around recently. Today, though, I brought my new Bible in to show Granny and, to take my mind off the storm outside, I read through Philippians 4. Paul talks a lot about being content with your situation by focusing on God and allowing Him to guard our hearts and be our strength. How many times do we go throughout a day and let the small things [like a cancelled banquet or a storm for example] put us in a bad mood and keep us from seeing the amazing things God is doing around us. [Yes, the storm may have postponed the banquet and had me scared for a little while, but God kept me and my family safe.] I, for one, tend to do that all to much. I get caught up in the mini-storms of life and don't take the time to slow down and see that God is protecting me and providing a way for me to get through it. If I just let God handle the situation, rather than worrying or stressing over it, I can rejoice [just as Paul did from prison!!] that God is in control and that He will make it work for my good. After all, worry and stress doesn't get you very far anyway. So, even though it's storming outside, I know that God is in control, and I don't have to be afraid.

And when the oceans rage

I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me

Your love never fails

The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails

the most obvious lessons are often the hardest...

There are a lot of things going on around me that I feel I should have the ability to fix. I always find myself wanting to be there for people who have never really thought of me as that kind of friend. It's hard for me to sit there and watch them, knowing they need someone, and not be able to be there for them. But, in most cases, these people are people I look up to, people who have made an impact on my life and I'm scared to reach out to them. I'm slowly beginning to overcome that fear, but so far, it hasn't really gone the way I planned. I'm starting to learn that I can't fix everyone's problems. I can't save everyone. For such an obvious statement, it's a hard lesson to learn. I want to be there for them, but I only can if they will let me. More importantly, though, I just need to let go, and let God. I have to let go of trying to help them on my own, and let God show up and move in their lives in ways I could never imagine.

random thoughts

I'm going to start off by saying that it is extremely hard for me to write a blog because I always read back over it and criticize myself and delete it, so for now I'm just going to type my thoughts and not worry how it comes out. I'm not really sure if anyone reads this anyway.

My senior year is quickly coming to a close and while I am extremely excited to move on and see where God is taking my life, it is also a really scary and sad time for me. You see, I've never been a big fan of changes, and I have some huge changes coming my way. But I'm not scared of the obvious change of leaving high school and starting college. I'm actually really excited to go to college and even more so to go to camp this summer. However, I am scared of losing my friends in the process. I know there will be a lot of people I won't ever see again after high school, and with some people I'm okay with that; others, not so much. I guess this is just a time to find out who my real friends are and those friendships are the ones that will last.

So, while this has absolutely nothing to do with anything mentioned above, it has been weighing on my mind lately. I am one of those people that you could call a "fixer." I always feel like there should be something I could do to fix other people's (and even my own) problems. I have been learning to rely on God more and more to be the "fixer" but I still feel the need to help out. Which brings me to my problem: There are so many people that I want to reach out to, but feel that I can't for whatever reason, especially those I look up to.

Yet another random topic. I am extremely excited about this summer. I get to work at my favorite place and with some of my favorite people. I'm really excited to see camp from a perspective other than a camper and to see everything God is going to show me while I'm there.

That's all the randomness for now. Maybe since school is getting closer to the end, I can find time to write more often. but probably not.

thoughts on a busy month.

Okay, so let me start off by saying that this month has been crazy. With the countless essays to write, state degree to work on, calculus in general, and scholarships to apply for, servant team application, it's been pretty easy for me to get stressed out. And for the most part that is exactly what I did. I stressed myself out even more by worrying about getting everything done. I would worry about all I had to do and end up getting nothing done because of it. Effective plan right? Let's get stressed because I have so much to do then not do anything because I'm too stressed. If you haven't figured it out yet, that plan doesn't work too well. As a matter of fact it just makes things worse. Last weekend really put a whole new perspective on stress and worry for me. Last weekend was the weekend that my discipleship class went up to Snowbird to work for the weekend. I truly got so much more out of the weekend than I expected going up there just to work. I was really convicted about how much I worry and stress myself out.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:25-34

Now, I had read these verses before and I knew that I shouldn't worry because it really wouldn't do any good to worry, but as I said earlier, I still worry a lot. This weekend put a new perspective on these familiar verses. Four little words stood out to me that never had before. "you of little faith" When I worry, it's like telling God that I don't think that He is good enough to meet my needs, and also letting Him know that I think I can meet them better. Simply put, worry is unbelief. Now, I know that God can handle what's going on in my little world, but when I worry, my actions show that I don't believe that in my heart. That definitely came as a slap in the face. But the beauty of the situation is that God is teaching me that I can trust Him and that I don't have to worry because He can handle it. Yes, this is an ongoing process, and I'm not going to immediately stop worrying, but God is giving me different situations and using those to grow me to Him. And I'll leave you with one more verse that has really helped me not to worry, but rather to trust God:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7

as promised.

So, there is no way to put this gently so I'm just going to say it:

Christianity isn't fire insurance.

There's more to being saved than just going to heaven when you die. If that's all being saved is then why are we still here? If being saved just saves you from hell then why didn't God reach down and pull you up to heaven the second you were saved? We are here for a reason. We are here to show the lost and dying world the hope we have. We are here to witness to others and make disciples of all nations.

Acts 1:8 says:

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Okay, so Jesus said that we will recieve power when the Holy Spirit comes on us. So when God says we need His power (not when we think we do) He will give us the strength so we don't do it on our own but He does it through us because if this was somethig that we could do on our own we would get the praise for it. But it's not, so all the glory goes to God. He goes on to say that we WILL be His witnesses. Not the few I've called or this group right here but everyone will be a witness for Christ. Now He may call some to different places but everyone is called to witness.

"in Jerusalem, in all Judea, and Samaria and to the ends of the earth" That means everywhere. Not just the places that are convienient but to the ends of the earth.

We have been called to tell everyone the good news of Jesus Christ. Answer that call.

part dos :)

Okay, this is a topic that has been weighing on my heart lately and I felt the need to share.

In today's society, we have too many people "stuck in the middle" People who claim to be Christians, but still live for the things of this world. You can't live for both God and the world. Jesus said in Matthew 6:24, "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate one and love the other or he will be devoted to one and despise the other."

What are you devoted to? What means the most to you? What do you love the most? Is it the things of this world or is it God?

If you really and truly believe that God is who He says He is, then you should want to serve Him. If you truly believe with all of your heart that God is the creator of the universe, that He is holy and just and righteous and sovreign then you should be sold out for Him. You should WANT to serve Him with all that you have. If you know about God but don't serve Him, you need to get Him out of your head and into your heart.

There are three kinds of faith:

1. dead faith: knows scripture, can talk about their faith and pray in public but their walk doesn't match up with their talk. This kind of faith only affects the mind. It won't do anything for you or those around you.
   
   
2. demonic faith: just believing. Even the demons in hell believe in God and tremble ("You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder." James 2:19)
   
   
3. divine faith: faith as an act of your will to give you life to Jesus Christ.

What kind of faith do you have? Are you serving God or are you serving the world? God sent Jesus to free us from our bondage to the world; we don't have to be slaves of this world any longer! We can be sons and daughters of Jesus Christ!!!

This is all I have time for right now, but more will come later. If you have any questions feel free to comment or message me. I may not know the answer but I can find someone who will :)

SWOX

To those of you who don't know what Snowbird is:

Snowbird Wilderness Outfitters is a non-denominational Christian youth camp in Andrews, NC for middle and high school students. The staff take Biblical doctrine and present it in a way that all of the students can understand, whether it be through the skits or the teachings of Brody and Big Kahuna or the breakout sessions taught by the various full-time staff. The summer staff or counselors are college-age students who spend 11 weeks out of their summer to spend time with and truly disciple and minister to each student they work with. They are there to answer any questions and to help out and listen to anything burdening a student's heart. If you want more information about Snowbird and its mission, you can visit www.swoutfitters.com

What I learned at SWOX

One thing they really emphasized at Snowbird this year was the importance of the Gospel. They really took the time to break down and explain essentials of the Gospel. First, we need to understand who God is. God is our creator. He made us in His image and because of that we belong to Him. God is holy which means that by His nature, He can not, and will not sin. ("This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." -1 John 1:5) The rules God has put to govern us are a reflection of His nature. When we break those rules, when we sin, we rebel against God personally; we break the heart of God. God is just. He has to and will judge sin according to His standard of right and wrong- which we have already broken. That leads to the sinful condition of man. Adam and Eve sinned, therefore we were born into sin. We have a sinful nature from birth and there is nothing we can do to save ourselves from our sinfulness, which is why we need Jesus. Without Jesus, we would be condemned to paying for our sin for eternity in hell. ("For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 6:23) Jesus came to earth, fully man and still fully God. He earned righteousness for us. If we were just forgiven, we would just mess up again and again. We need the righteousness of Christ. Jesus lived a perfect life and died a sacrificial death to satisfy God's wrath. The resurrection validated everything Jesus said. Death could not hold Jesus. He was victorious over death and sin and hell. Salvation is admitting that we have sinned and deserve hell but accepting the gift of righteousness from Christ. We are to die to ourselves and follow the example of Jesus ("Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." -Matthew 16:24)

The Gospel is of utmost importance. We are called to make our lives all about preaching the Gospel. The Gospel should control us. We should be obsessed with getting the Gospel out rather than worldly garbage. The Gospel will take root in us and change us from the inside out. We to devote our entire lives to the Gospel. Learn how to live our lives solely for the pursuit of the Gospel now so that the things of this world won't dictate the rest of your life. Christ died to free you from that, don't imprison yourself with it. Don't make decisions based on what's going to get you the most money or the most popularity, but rather what's going to get the most people in the face of Jesus. That's what should drive us. We need to waste our lives for the Gospel, that's what the world is going to think you are doing. But in reality, when we devote our lives to anything but the Gospel, that's when we are wasting our lives. The Gospel is the only thing that will last. Everything else is temporary. Everything else will burn. Only that which is eternal will last.